martedì 17 aprile 2012

La vicina, il tubo e un sabato sera di ordinaria follia

La vicina tacco 12 e Murphy se la intendono. In maniera metafisica ma se la intendono. Credetemi, è una di quelle cose alla quale non ti serve assistere. In cuor tuo la sai e basta.
Come vi spieghereste altrimenti che per la quarta volta dalla scorsa estate a oggi (la seconda in un mese) il tubo che porta l’acqua a casa mia è saltato? Sì, capito bene, ha fatto KABUM!
E così, sabato sera, quando tutti erano a nanna e io pensavo di avere la mia vita in pugno e una doccia calda sulle spalle di lì a 5 minuti sento il suono del maleficio: tototototototototototototototo..... apro il rubinetto: SECCO. Da quel momento in avanti si è consumata la mia follia.

- ore 22. Compongo il numero del centralino di Hera (azienda che gestisce il servizio idrico di Ravenna).
- Salve, sono senz’acqua. Vi prego, ditemi che vi siete sbagliati e me l’avete chiusa voi.
- Signora, forse le hanno piombato il contatore
- Scusi?
- Sì, magari non ha pagato le bollette. Può capitare...
- No, il piombo a breve l’avrò al cervello se non mi faccio una doccia, quindi, please, mi dica perché dai miei rubinetti esce solo aria.
- Veniamo subito a vedere.

Presa da compassione per il malcapitato che sotto la pioggia di sabato sera doveva venire a risolvermi il problema mi accordo per la mattina successiva alle 8.

- ore 9 (quindi con un’ora di ritardo e le mie spalle che ancora reclamano la doccia!): signora, mi dispiace ma devo darle una brutta notizia
- no, guardi, faccio senza, se ne torni da dove è venuto!
- Signora, davvero, mi dispiace ma sotto i tombini ci sarà un metro di acqua. Non dipende da noi le si è - - rotto il tubo in un punto che non si vede.
- Impossibile. Ne ho messi 90 metri nuovi di zecca una settimana fa.
- Le assicuro che in quei 90 metri c’è una voragine.

E’ stato in questo frangente che mi sono sentita di fronte a un trivio. Soluzione A: uccido il malcapitato. Soluzione B: me ne vado in albergo, mi faccio una doccia e poi torno a uccidere il malcapitato. Soluzione C: respiro, inspiro, respiro, inspiro e se non svengo per iperossigenazione cerco una via di fuga.

Non vi scrivo da una gattabuia, quindi ho optato per la C. L’azienda che mi aveva sostituito il tubo rintracciata tramite un giro di telefonate ha risolto il problema in mezzora.

La vera via di fuga, però, non è questa ma quella che si è data il mio cervello per sciogliere il dilemma del perché i tubi mi si rompano sempre di sabato sera in procinto di farmi una doccia dopo 15 ore dietro ai nani.

Ed ecco la risposta:

la vicina di casa, quella perennemente tacco 12 e con il culo che vola verso l’alto non conoscendo forza gravitazionale, ha scoperto questo blog. Alquanto irritata dalla sua costante presenza nei miei post ha deciso di intendersela con il Murphy della legge di Murphy, quello della fetta di pane imburrata che casca sul tappeto costoso. E così in due hanno deciso che è alquanto demodè far cascare la iattura su un povero tappeto. Oggi va di moda il tubo.

Reazioni:

15 commenti:

in effetti Murphy è un pò come la sfiga, ci vede benissimo!

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